Sometimes, it’s hard not to be judgmental.
When we see someone for the first time, we immediately come to several conclusions about them, many times without even speaking to them. Their body-type and clothing choices can lead us to, in some cases, some strong opinions about someone, even though we know nothing about them.
Pierced. Tattooed. Non-traditional hair color. Yeah, I know your story.
Overweight. Ill-fitting clothes. Unshaven. I know all about you.
We don’t always do it on purpose, but sometimes these things pop in our heads. Maybe it’s the way we were brought up. Maybe it’s who we choose to hang out with. Maybe it’s what we watch on TV or online. And maybe it’s just because we’re human.
I’m not suggesting that it’s okay to make a snap judgment about someone because of what they look like. I’m only saying that, on some level, most of us do that, at least temporarily.
Hopefully, even if you do find yourself doing that, you override that impulse. We’re all much more than a tattoo.
The same thing happens when people die unexpectedly. There’s a rush to judgment. You see this all over Facebook and Twitter after the death of Robin Williams this week.
With celebrities, it’s more difficult to keep from judging. We’ve all seen Robin Williams in so many things, we feel like we know him. Or knew him, that is.
He was in our homes in the 1970’s with “Mork and Mindy”, and then again last year with “The Crazy Ones”. And in between the two, he’s been in tons of movies. And we’ve seen him numerous times on with Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel, Ellen DeGeneres, Jon Stewart and Charlie Rose.
He was even on “American Idol” once!
We also all have our own ideas about suicide. And depression. And addiction. And even if we haven’t been personally affected by any of those things, we think we know what they are.
People say that Robin was a coward for what he did. Others say he was courageous and now he’s free. And others say he was selfish for doing this to his family and friends.
But none of us really know. And the truth is, we never will.
That doesn’t stop the talk, though. And with social media, it’s easier than ever to put your opinion out there. You can pass judgment and then others can agree or disagree, essentially judging your judgment. And so on, and so on.
I’m not going to pretend to suggest we stop judging. It would be nice, but I don’t think it’s possible.
That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing. You shouldn’t feel that you aren’t allowed to express how you feel. Of course, you can always choose how you express those feelings, and you can decide if it’s genuinely how you feel, or if it’s just a gut reaction and might not be how you actually feel at all.
Like most, I have my own opinions about Robin Williams, what he may have been going through and why he chose to do what he did.
But at best, my opinions are just guesses. I didn’t really know him, or his family. And I don’t know what it was like to be Robin Williams in August of 2014.
I do wish his family healing, and I hope he has found peace. Beyond that, anything I’d add would just be conjecture.
So let’s talk about me.
Most people who know me know that I don’t have a problem talking about myself. I tend to laugh about that, and try to be aware of it so I don’t do it too much.
Contrary to what some may say, I do know that everything isn’t always about me. No, really.
But I’m able to share things about myself with my friends and my family. I think they know me pretty well. They know I get cranky when I haven’t had enough sleep, or haven’t been to the beach in a long time.
They know I don’t eat the right foods, and that I don’t exercise enough, even though I do try to do both of those things (but not quite enough).
They know I want to change the radio station when we’re in the car and a song by Journey comes on.
And when I’m troubled by things big or small, I’m comfortable enough to share that. I don’t expect them to leap into action and solve all my problems for me, but I just want them to know where I am.
I’ve been surprised to learn that a lot of people have trouble doing this.
If you can tell someone that you love them, you should also be able to tell them if you’re happy or sad, if everything you touch is gold or turns to crap.
Can you share your hopes and your fears?
I think this is one of those things that can snowball on you. If you get into the habit of keeping everything to yourself, it just builds up inside of you and can overwhelm you.
And remember, it’s a two-way street.
You have to also be willing to listen.
And if you can, and you really should, try and do that without judgment. For some, opening up and sharing feelings is a scary thing, and if you judge them for it, it’s very easy for them to close back up and keep everything to themselves.
By the way, this is not meant to suggest that Robin Williams needed to share what was going on with him with his wife, kids, family, etc. He may have. I don’t know.
What I am saying, though, is that I’m lucky enough to be able to talk about what’s going on with me. And I hope those I talk to about that stuff feel the same way about talking to me.
We’re all in this together. Like a finely woven Psychic Tapestry.
This was the Kinks’ last big hit.
Well, I’m still hopeful that they’ll get back together, so I guess I’ll say it’s their last big hit so far.
The song’s meaning is pretty simple. Get back up and do it again.
I think that, at least at times, this is a tough one for most of us. We get knocked down by lots of things. Love, career, finances, health, family, friends and those you thought were friends.
Sometimes, it’s just really difficult to get back up. Sometimes the hits are hard. Sometimes it takes away our hope, our will, our motivation.
And sometimes, we just can’t help feeling sorry for ourselves, deciding that we’re just not getting back up again. We’ve had it. We give. Just don’t hit us anymore.
But those are the times when it’s most important to get back up again.
It’s okay to feel beaten. To feel like everything you’ve done is useless, worthless. But you can’t live there.
It may be hard to believe, but the Universe isn’t conspiring against you. Bad stuff happens to everyone. We all lose jobs, get cheated or feel betrayed.
That doesn’t mean it’s over. That just means you’re human. Like everyone else.
Even like the person who may have, temporarily, beaten or cheated or betrayed you.
And even if it seems hopeless, never let them steal your dreams. Any hit, no matter how catastrophic it may feel, is just a temporary set-back. You can still win. You can still do what you really want. You can still achieve your dreams.
But first, you have to get back up. And do it again.
While that message is important, I also picked that song, or maybe that song picked me, for another reason.
I’m starting something new this week on Psychic Tapestry. It’s called Psychic Tapestry Déjà vu. Each weekday, I’ll be airing an encore presentation of a previously aired Psychic Tapestry program.
Yes, that’s a very nice way of saying “reruns”.
The difference here is that these shows will air during the week, staggered at different times. The hope here is that I can get some of the messages we receive on Psychic Tapestry out to others who may have missed the original broadcast, and to those who have never even heard of Psychic Tapestry.
The regular show will continue to air live on Saturday mornings at 10am (Pacific), and will not be affected by the Déjà vu shows.
I just wanted to seize an opportunity that Blog Talk Radio offered me to reach more people. I’ve been fortunate enough to have had some terrific guests on over the past month, and they’ve all delivered some very powerful messages. And I’d like to give others a chance to hear those messages.
You can check out the complete schedule HERE for this week’s Déjà vu shows.
Thanks so much for your continued support! Your calls, your comments, your likes – all of it – helps keep Psychic Tapestry going, and makes me get back up to do it again!
This is probably not one of Johnny Cash’s best-known songs.
Still, it did hit number one on the Country charts. In the U.S. and Canada. It was also a hit on top forty radio. In the U.S. and the U.K.
I’ve talked before about getting messages from songs, and for this one, it seems like the message should be something about embezzling.
If you aren’t familiar with this song, it’s a story of a man who goes to work in a car manufacturing plant, and decides to steal a car by bring it home “one piece at a time”.
So it does seem like the message of it should be about stealing, doesn’t it?
The thing I’ve found about music is that it’s very subjective, and songs can mean different things to different people, depending on a wide variety of factors. And many of those factors could have absolutely nothing to do with anything the songwriter or performer intended.
And this song, for me, is a perfect example of that.
For me, this song evokes family, specifically my parents.
This song was a hit in the Spring of 1976. I was ten.
The simple memory this song evokes is of me, sitting in the car with my Dad, while we waited for my mom to come out of the store. Which store? Doesn’t matter. Could have been the grocery store. Could have been the drug store. Could have been a department store.
But that was kind of our ritual.
We’d head out to whatever store we were going to. Sometimes my older brother and sister would go in with my Mom, but I stayed in the car with my Dad (and sometimes my little sister). And we would listen to the radio.
CB songs were big at the time, and we’d scan the dial looking for someone playing “Convoy” or “White Knight”. And we would often find this Johnny Cash tune. And there was just something about novelty songs, especially for a boy of ten, that brought me so much joy.
So, for me, this song just brings back a happy memory of spending time with my family. There was no monumental event that it evokes. Just a weekly voyage to the A & P or Rose’s.
If this song popped in my head and I thought it was a message for anyone else, I would have to suggest simply reaching out to a family member or a friend, someone you might not have talked to recently, and share a few kind words and a laugh.
And don't get caught up in that need so many seem to have where everything has to be absolutely perfect. You can make wonderful, long-lasting memories with those you love in the simplest of ways - just by being yourself. And by doing something as easy as turning on the radio.
But also, don’t steal.
Ken Kessler has always been interested in psychic phenomena, and like Mulder on the X-Files, wants to believe. But like most, he tends to look for, and accept, rational explanations. (More)